Dating and Mating

Dating and Mating

“An honorable human relationship
– that is, one in which two people have the right to use the word “love
– is a process, delicate, violent, often terrifying to both persons involved,
a process of refining the truths they can tell each other.
― Adrienne Rich
On Lies, Secrets, and Silence: Selected Prose, 1966-1978

Togetherness and Individuation

Healthy relationships strike a delicate balance between autonomy and emotional connection. If we err on the side of autonomy, we can become cold, indifferent, or self-centered. Yet if we put all of our focus on others we neglect our own needs, build resentment, and burn out.

The concept of self-differentiation, defined as the process of partially freeing oneself, as best one can, from the emotional entrapment of one’s family of origin, is a lifelong and never-ending one. No individual can actualize this infinite task. We do the best we can and hope our efforts will be rewarded. Would you like to learn how to:

When we get stuck in relationship difficulties it’s often the result of unresolved emotional attachments from our past. Work on the differentiation of self begins with taking a researcher’s stance, becoming curious about one’s family of origin and its influence on one’s current life situation. This then creates opportunities to increase
one’s level of both functional and basic differentiation.

Differentiation of self is a continuous work in progress. It is a journey to a destination we will never reach. Somewhat akin to the mindfulness understanding of “practice,” commit to doing what you are doing in the present moment with clear understanding and dedication to attend, in a thoughtful way, to both autonomy and connectedness.

When all else fails, Mindful Relationship coaching can help keep the process moving forward in a positive direction. How can I be most helpful to you?

To learn more and/or schedule a consultation click here.

Best of luck on your unfolding journey of a lifetime