“…the problem a patient or couple or family walks in with
is less important than the relationship obstacles
that keep them from working to resolve it”.
— Guerin & Fogarty
Problems with a “Child-Focused” Approach
How often do we as parents make projects out of our children? As a New York Magazine cover once proclaimed, “The Problem with Teenagers is Their Parents.” When it’s too difficult for parents to grow themselves up they try to fix their children instead. Unfortunately, there appears to be a negative correlation between efforts to diagnose and fix a child, and the child’s emotional well-being.
- How best to provide a safe haven and secure base for our children?
- What psychological preventative maintenance will help foster resilience?
- Did you know that we best help our children by working on ourselves?
What enables some young people to do well in school, form meaningful relationships and feel hopeful about the future in spite of adversity, while others become depressed and/or self-destructive? We can best provide a safe haven and a secure base for our children by working on our own self-differentiation.
- Are you in search of more productive, less antagonistic solutions?
- Would you like to learn how best to help foster your children’s resilience?
- What protective factors help children and adolescents flourish?
If you are struggling with parental difficulties that are not easily resolved pay attention to the sources of chronic anxiety within your family. Parental “taking care of self” allows space for the child to develop her/his mastery of emotional distress, and physical and psychological discomfort.
- Would you like to learn new skills for coping with stress and conflict?
- What are the opportunities for preventative mental health care?
- How do you choose a grounded self over an attempt to fix others?
The goal is to solve problems in current relationships so as not to leave a damaging legacy for future generations. Change comes from within. It only takes one motivated adult to change the family’s future history. Why not you?
To learn more and/or schedule a consultation click here.