“Show up and choose to be present,
Pay attention to what has heart and meaning,
Tell the truth without blame or judgment, and
Be open, rather than attached to, the outcome.”
― Angeles Arrien
Developing a Self in Relationship
The Bowen Family Systems Theory concept of “differentiation of self” addresses the process of growing our emotional maturity. Understanding how to develop and trust in our own inner strength, listening to “wisdom” from our teachers in life, and leaving space for contemplating how we can do things differently helps us grow and develop the capacity to create better futures, more choices, and improve relationships.
Becoming an authentic adult is hard work and a never-completed task. The journey of Growing Ourselves Up is focused on the development of autonomy and healthy emotional interdependence. Differentiation of self combines setting appropriate limits and boundaries with staying connected to the important people in your life. The goal is learning how to deal with differences without losing either self or connections.
- Would you like to learn how best to show up in all your relationships?
- Would you like to become more responsible for your emotional well-being?
- Would you like to learn more productive ways to reduce stress and anxiety?
Bowen Family Systems Coaching focuses on the “doing”, changing oneself in one’s significant emotional relationships, as well as the “being”, maintaining a sense of self-differentiation in the face of high emotional reactivity. Issues arise not because there is something inherently wrong with any individual or relationship, but because all are stuck with a story and a structure that has outlived its usefulness.
Focus on growth and resources helps develop the ability to “struggle well”, reduce vulnerability and respond successfully to stressful crises and persistent challenges. The more responsible you can be to your own values and beliefs, the greater the likelihood of strong, resilient friendships and secure intimate partner relationships.
To learn more and/or schedule a consultation click here.